Without Patience Comes Illusion

A writing I just wrote in response to a moment I had last night where I totally created a reality that did not exist. I played along with the illusions I created — I look back and see where I went wrong and how I fed into a moment that would have settled and the truth would have been revealed soon enough. But I allowed my mind to wander, and for what?

Tonight I reflect on my own inner workings and how I can improve. As something so little in that moment if not learned could have been something bigger. I also take opportunities like this in my life to really get clear with my thoughts, my emotions and how I process all that comes in and all that goes out. I love doing so, it’s fun. At first i was so scared to face myself up into my teens, it wasn’t until my first trip of psychedelic mushrooms that really opened me up — to facing myself. And by that what do I mean? All my regrets, ill intentions, lies I would tell myself about myself, fears, doubts, shame, guilt — when I began to face those things, rebuild those things, actively rewire those thoughts… moment by moment.

Here is my writing: let’s title it:

Without Patience Comes Illusion

The paranoia

The lies within

The illusions

The ability to create them

At Will

At choice

The paranoia i ride as i settle in

My commitment to self to see past that

Sometimes no commitment at all

I fall

Deeper into

The trap

The trap I’ve created

Allowed

The trap

The fear

The doubts

The moment I allow, see past

Crystal clear

The laughs now

And The lessons.

If it were only patience I knew then.

Though grateful for now